Memories
by Kereyi
Summary: A short storypoem on which reflects my mood. Features Cagalli and Athrun after the war...hope you enjoy.


**A/N**: I was really depressed today (surprise surprise) and I wrote a poem. I thought it interesting and decided it would fit perfectly as an Athrun/Cagalli thing...so here it is. The short little story in between is good as well. 

Warning: This is really sad and I just...I don't know. I wanted it to be sad to reflect my own life, how pitiful and confusing it is! Gah! Anywho, enjoy..._

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**Memory**

She moves quietly through the rooms, searching, hoping to find something that reminds her a little of her lost love...

_His name in my memory_

_burned like a fiery coal,_

_He smiles and nods_

_his touch lingering cold._

Her fingers curl around cold metal and she turns the door, expecting darkness, but finding light. She walks into the room, golden eyes lingering on the objects that decorate the lifeless room...

_My feelings I search through_

_for a small spark of hope,_

_But light is a distant star_

_enveloping me in ever-lasting cold._

She walks forward, bare feet barely touching soft carpet. She shivers as a cold draft flows past her, making her wrap her arms around herself. Her gaze is drawn to a small picture, not far to the left, shrouded in misty light. Her tawny eyes flick, scanning the sunset setted picture. Two figures stand in the frame, and her heart twists with pain, with hurt. She feels pity and loathing settle over her like a black cloud, choking the life from her, choking her from seeing the truth...

_Forever lost in doubt_

_in fear and in pain,_

_Will I ever be free?_

_life a twisting game._

Memories of the past days flutter in her mind. She remembers the looks of pity, the looks of sympathy and feels remorse. Her eyes had been shaded, haunting, glowing with a hidden desire. Her smiles had been forced, weak, pitiful, yet she felt no happiness in the last days, months, years. She wonders if they all knew, if they all thought she would break it off. But she hadn't broken it off. He had. He had left her for another...or so she was led to believe...

_Haunting eyes and fake smiles_

_are how I live now,_

_But deeper and deeper_

_my memories plunge me down._

She walks back towards her room, finding shelter in warm comforters and soft pillows. Succumbing to sleep, she wonders about the day ahead, about the day she must face. About another day without him...

_My memories become dreams_

_fleeting like leaves in wind,_

_I grasp for reality_

_for life; for him._

Her dreams smash into her like a wave, taking her into a deeper pit of hell on which she cannot escape. Thrashing in her sleep, she feels throttled, hurt, lost. He is not there to comfort her. He will never be there to comfort her...

_My eyes flutter open_

_to find worry and emerald-green,_

_He sighs but smiles_

_I think it a dream._

Her dreams lead her deeper, to a part of her mind on which she can never escape. The one memory that resurfaces even in sleep, where she tries her utmost to escape her past, becomes a solid picture on which her horrors are realized. The same day on which she met him two years before, the same day on which he promised to love her forever...

_Shaking his head, he laughs_

_his hand encircling mine,_

_Picks me up where I have fallen_

_life seems frozen in this time._

A chill travels up her spine as she arches up, her mouth open in a silent scream. She wants to be rid of the pain, of the hurt that has entombed her heart in a shadowy abyss. She wonders why these images haunt her, why they appear when she wishes them gone...

_His arms encircle me_

_his eyes searching mine,_

_My breath catches_

_as his lips seal our time._

Memories of his lips, his eyes, his breath. She remembers it all and wonders if the dream is but a reality. If she is actually seeing him once more, one last time before she gives in to her desires...

_I feel my eyes close_

_memories flow thru my mind,_

_Tears fill my eyes_

_no more hope; not this time._

But her hope shatters in an instant when her eyes snap open. Tears streak down her face and she cries, silent tears of release that only last for so long. Steeling herself, she pulls at the sheets, freeing her body from the entanglement on which she has wrought upon herself. Walking to the window, she opens it and steps out onto the balcony, feeling sweet wind caress her shoulders in sympathy...

_I awaken alone_

_tears down my face,_

_I feel lost and afraid_

_alone without his comforting space._

She searches the horizon, for a small spark of hope. All she sees is emerald green eyes and midnight blue hair. A lone star shines in the distant and she closes her eyes, wishing, hoping, for her dreams to come to life. But there is not light within her future. No distant star on which to find comfort in...

_His name I still know_

_in soul and in heart,_

_With a whisper of words_

_we become worlds apart._

As she turns, she misses the bright emerald orbs gazing at her from below. She misses the silent call of her name from the shadows of dark upon light. She misses the light on which she would once again become warm. For all this she misses, he misses her more than life itself...

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**A/N**: Opinions, opinions! Meh, I was all ... gah today. I donno, I just wanted to write something sad and tragic like this. And the poem came to me like lightning. So enjoy, review and tell me how you thought it to be.

**This poem is dedicated to a friend on which I hold dear, closer to my heart than I think it should. For when he sees me, his smile lights my day, and his teasing brings me back to myself.**

**For without this light, I am but dust in the wind...Light without dark, Hope without reason...**

**I am lost.**


End file.
